Things Fall Apart
by MoonClaimed
Summary: Ever read a story and ask, "...What?" Well, question no more! Each chapter is a facet of the zutara fandom that has a serious flaw in logic, whether it's purpose is to bring them together or keep them apart. No character bashing. Chap 12 Zuko's Emo Corner
1. Arranged Marriage

First things first: I am **NOT** anti-zutara. In fact, I like it quite a bit. It's just that some of the methods authors use to bring the two together (or, in later chapters of this piece, keep them apart) make not one iota of sense with the characters.

So, without further ado, I bring you "The Arranged Marriage."

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The world was changing. After a hundred years of war and genocide, one year of new hope and desperate struggle for survival, and two glorious years of fighting to _maintain _a new and fragile peace, the world was about to be pushed off its axis all over again.

Everyone in the vicinity of the event bringing the end of the world knew immediately of their coming doom, even if they could not pick up on the quiet words: nothing less could have caused the booming laughter to spring from the seemingly delicate lips of Toph Bei Fong.

"What do you mean _betrothed_?" Katara stared in horror at her increasingly uncomfortable father.

The man glanced nervously at the other old men behind him. Bumi sat with a glint in his eye; he seemed most proud of his cunning for coming up with such a clever, simple solution. The retired General Iroh gave him a warm, supportive look that was one part "You can do this" and two parts "Don't wimp out now, man!" The earth king, old Pakku, and the other obligatory dignitaries and ambassadors from every corner of the globe that had gathered for the peace talks just stood by smugly. There was only one way this could go.

"What did you mean," Fire Lord Zuko wheezed out, "_betrothed_?"

"Well, as a sign of good faith between nations-"

"I already _have_ a boyfriend!" Katara cut in with growing anger, "What exactly does "good faith between nations" have to do with alienating me from the Love of My Life? You know, the Avatar?" At this she gestured emphatically at Aang, who seemed to be mouthing nonsense to himself and shifting his wide-eyed gaze between Katara and Zuko in some obscure form of deep-seated horror.

"Mai!" This seemed to be about the only word the young fire lord could force past his lips as he vacillated rapidly between rage and flustered disbelief. The aforementioned girl stared coolly at those gathered before her, but upon closer inspection seemed to be quietly caressing the knives concealed under her long sleeves.

"No one's marrying my baby sister off to Fire Nation Scum!" Sokka declared hotly, then turned to glance back at Zuko, "No offense."

"None taken."

Pakku shook his gray head in disgust. "You children know nothing of treaties and establishing lasting peace."

"Considering the hundred years of war, apparently neither do you." Katara muttered under her breath.

Hakoda looked at his daughter sharply, "That's enough, Katara."

Pakku cleared his throat and began again. "War is hard. Maintaining peace is harder still." He paused a moment to let this sink in. "There is no family, no person, who did not sacrifice and dearly pay the price of this war. And yet when war again looms on the horizon, you are selfish enough to refuse to do your duty to the world?" He turned condemning eyes on the young fire lord, "Your duty to your people?"

When Zuko turned to his uncle and saw that he would gain no support from his usual bulwark of strength, his shoulders drooped and all the fight drained out of him.

The tea enthusiast watched the youths before him with something very much like disappointment. "This is a sudden and jarring step on the road to peace. Perhaps we did not prepare you enough for this eventuality. In any case, I think it's best if you children stay out of the conference room while we discuss the finer details of this arrangement.

"But Uncle!" Zuko's eyes were wide and lost, "I should be there. I am the f-"

"Zuko!" At the sharp reprimand the boy flinched and lowered his head obediently. As he turned and walked away, the others reluctantly followed.

Even Toph had stopped laughing.

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"Let's mutiny."

"Shut up. I'm not in the mood."

"I'm serious!" Sokka turned to face the rest of the group where they were huddled loosely together in one of palace gardens. Aang and Katara were sitting close: shoulders touching, legs in a tangle, and hands in a desperate grip, as if daring anyone to come and try to pry them apart. Mai was sitting close by on a stone bench, the very picture of detached calm, except for the arm she had wrapped tightly about Zuko's shoulders and head as he rested with his face pressed to her neck. Toph was hunched over on the ground, looking mutinous.

"I'm with Snoozles on this one." Toph announced, "Let's show those idiots who they're messing with."

Aang looked up from Katara's face for the first time since the news had sunk in. He turned hard eyes on Sokka. "You're right. This isn't fair. Katara and Zuko deserve better than to be forced into something like this."

"Yeah!" Sokka enthused, "We'll show those old codgers they can't push us around!"

Katara tightened her grip on Aang's hand and dragged both of them to their feet. "No one's taking me away from Aang," her face darkened farther, "or taking Aang way from me."

"Count me in." Came Mai's voice from where she sat, Zuko still wrapped around her. She gently pushed him back and climbed to her feet, once again caressing her hidden knives.

"So," Toph said as she jumped up and wandered over to where the others were gathering, "What's the plan, Snoozles?"

"Well, I was thinking-"

"It's not that simple." Zuko's quiet words cut like a knife through the growing excitement. He covered his face with tired hands before continuing, "As much as we hate it, they're right." An angry mummer went up at this.

"How can you even say that, Zuko?" Katara asked, scandalized. "You don't care if you have to leave Mai?"

"Of course I care!" At the shout the young fire lord uncovered his face: it was obvious he was on the brink of tears. "But this is bigger than us, isn't it? The peace talks _haven't_ been going well. _No one_ is willing to compromise, and no one _trusts _anyone else. If this could help prevent war, we are honor bound to go through with it. " He took a deep, shuddering breath. "I won't let any more people die because I want to be selfish." And just like that, the small uprising was cut down.

That is, until Aang pushed to the front of the group and smiled. It was not a smile that any of the group had seen grace the Avatar's face before. "Don't worry about that Zuko. There won't be another war."

Zuko snorted, "How can you be so sure?"

"Because I'm the Avatar." Looks of confusion passed over every face in the group. Just when it seemed Sokka was about to question his meaning he continued, "I've been going really easy on everyone, but I'm beginning to think a firmer hand may be required." His nasty smile morphed into an outright leer. "Don't you remember what I did to the _last guy_ who attempted open war?"

Zuko's mind quickly flashed to the last time he had seen his father. The ex-lord Ozai had been ragged, huddled in a dark corner of a dank prison cell, not the smallest hint of bending to his one glorious name.

The fire lord lunged to his feet, unsheathed the duel broad swords on his back with a ring of metal on metal, and raised one high over his head. "To battle!"

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The old men of the world quickly realized this was one group of teenagers not to mess with.

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Thanks for reading (assuming you have...)! Now leave a review! I know what I'm doing for the next chapter, but I would love more ideas!


	2. Stockholm Syndrome

Hey everyone! Thanks for showing me and this story so much support! Now, without further delay: Stockholm Syndrome

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"Katara's been captured by Zuko!" Sokka cried, as he ran through a wall of trees to reach Aang, who was already waiting for the siblings at the pre-designated meeting point.

Aang's eyes widened, "Again?"

Sokka took a moment to consider this; he quirked his head slightly to the left and rubbed his chin. "Yeah, I guess."

Aang shook his head and muttered to himself, "First the time with the pirates and now again…I had no idea Katara was into that kind of thing…."

"What are we waiting around for? We have to go save my baby sister!"

"Yeah!" His eyes narrowed in determination, "No one messes with my woman!"

"…What?"

"Nothing, Sokka."

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Katara sat in the corner of the small cell she had been locked in. She was somewhat confused as to how she had ended up there. One minute, she and Sokka had been scavenging for whatever food they could find in the forest, the next… Was she hit over the head or something? She couldn't really seem to remember…

She whipped around at the sound of the rusty door of the brig squeaking open. She tensed imperceptibly as she realized that she was on a boat full of men who had been trapped in the middle of nowhere for years. She had heard the kind of things that could happen…

"Oh. It's only you." She sighed.

Prince Zuko glared at her out of his good eye, "And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

He gave her one last glare for good measure, then made himself comfortable leaning against the wall opposite her cell.

Several minutes past in this manner: her sitting quietly, him staring straight ahead, before Katara got fed up, "Why are you staring at me like that? It's creepy."

Zuko sputtered for a moment, but regained his bearings with admirable speed. "It's called 'guarding the prisoner,' Peasant. Ever heard of it?"

Katara just huffed and turned her head away. After another several minutes, she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. "Not that I'm interested, but aren't you a prince?"

"…Yes…" Zuko responded slowly, wary of where this might be going.

"Well, than don't you have better things to do with your time than 'guard the prisoner'? Couldn't you make one of your men do it?"

The prince relaxed at the innocuous turn the conversation had taken. "Normally I would, but Uncle wouldn't let me for some reason. Something about… 'finding a lady friend'…" he trailed off, confused.

"Oh."

Now that conversation had stopped, the silence quickly grew awkward. "So," Katara joked weakly, "What do you do for fun around here?"

"Nothing."

"Fine. Be that way! I was just trying to make conversation." She said, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes.

Zuko looked at her in confusion, "What way? I just answered the question."

The girl snorted indelicately. "Right. So you just sit around all day, everyday, doing nothing but chasing the Avatar."

She continued to receive a blank stare from Zuko.

At her incredulous expression, he elaborated, "Well, there _is_ music night, but I try not to think about that."

"Why? It sounds fun."

He let out a long-suffering sigh, "It's going on right now. That's actually the only reason I'm here. If this weren't further away from all the screeching, I'd have locked myself in my room no matter what Uncle said." He rolled his eyes in sheer, teenaged agony, "Not that it helps much."

Katara's forehead crinkled in confusion. "I don't hear any music."

"Oh yes, you do."

"Wait. Wait." Her eyes were growing large in horror, "Do you mean that terrible sound that keeps dragging on and on and-"

"Yes." Zuko cut in when it seemed when she was stuck in a loop.

"Dear spirits, I-I thought you were torturing another prisoner somewhere!"

"I know." He let out a heavy sigh, "But all that's happening is that they're torturing _me_."

She shuttered and tried very hard to tune the music-not-screams-of-agony out. "Well," she went on, hoping for a bright spot to present itself, "then what about hanging out?"

"…Out where? The side of the ship? And why would I want to 'hang' anyway." His eyes narrowed, "Are you threatening me, you dirty-"

"No, no, calm down! It's a figure of speech! It means, you know…" She quickly searched her mind for another way to explain the simple concept, "spend time with other people your age."

"Oh." He looked vaguely embarrassed at the misunderstanding. "No, I don't do that either."

"Oh come on! Now you're just messing with me-"

"I've been on this ship for three straight years."

"Well yeah, but not _alone_. What about the other sailors? You could talk to them," she suggested.

"The next youngest man on this ship is a thirty-four year old with a wife and three children back in the Fire Nation." Zuko shrugged helplessly, "I think my father wanted the younger soldiers for the front lines."

"…Wow."

"Wow, what?"

"No wonder you're so messed up."

His cheeks flared red with indignation, "What do you mean by that? I am a perfectly well adjusted-" He was cut off by Katara's poorly muffled snort of laughter.

At the dark look on his face, she waved her hand placatingly, "I'm not making fun of you. Really. It's just, you're, what, sixteen? So you've been stuck in a boat, in the middle of the Spirits' Blessed ocean, since you were thirteen years old with just middle aged men to talk to."

"Basically," he nodded in acknowledgment.

"Even the South Pole, filled to the brim with lonely women and three year olds, was better than that!" Her shoulders slumped," ...But not by much," she conceded.

They shared a moment of silent commiseration. Finally the prince looked up to consider his captive. "You know, Water Peasant," he paused, tasting his words, "you're alright."

"Back at ya, Fire Scum."

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Prince Zuko backed into the prison-hold, carefully balancing a tray of food. Once he was past the obstacle the door presented when one had no free hands, he returned to his previous spot across the bars of the cell from Katara. They sat face-to-face and nearly knee-to-knee.

Katara reached through the bars to take some of the fruit offered up, but paused upon noticing Zuko's perplexed expression.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Zuko answered quickly, then let out a sigh and asked tentatively, "Do you ever feel like everyone knows something you don't?"

Katara looked at him blankly, "Zuko, I'm traveling the world with two teenaged boys. What do you think?"

"Oh right…"

"Well, get on with it."

"It's just," he began slowly, "everyone outside was acting very oddly. The men were snickering and giving me thumbs up. One even slapped me on the back! I don't think I've ever even seen that man before… And I could have sworn I heard Uncle in the background somewhere muttering about 'grandbabies'…" His brow furrowed in confusion.

Katara raised one eyebrow, then pointedly went back to eating her fruit. "What do I know? All you Fire Nation people are weird." She suddenly grew more serious, "But like I was saying before, I think Aang really likes me. Like,_ like_ likes me. You know what I mean?"

"Hmmhm. So what's the problem? You don't like him back?"

"No, that's not it. It's the other way around, really…" She trailed off into morose silence. "I just…I don't know whether this is the right time to start a relationship."

"Yeah, that always sucks. When you think you're going to start a nice thing, have a good time, care about someone. And then…"

"What?" Katara leaned forward, eager for advice or gossip. Either would do.

"Well," Zuko sat back for a moment, measuring her trustworthiness, "Before I started on this whole 'Find the Avatar!' quest, I was just mustering up the courage to ask this girl I liked out on a date. She was amazing…pretty and quiet, but strong too, you know?"

Katara nodded sagely.

"So anyway, I'm just getting up the nerve to ask her out, and next thing you know…BAM!" He made an extravagant hand gesture, "Banished." He slowly lowered his hands from where they hovered over his head, his face growing sad, "I hope I can see her again one day…"

Katara nearly swooned, "That is so romantic!"

In the next instant, the ship was shaking harshly, as if an earthquake had found the vessel out upon the waves. Then, without warning, the back wall of the cell imploded and Aang stalked through the debris.

"Aang!" Katara cried, overjoyed to see him.

He did not respond. Instead he just glared down at prince's sitting form. For the moment, Zuko was much too shocked to even consider standing.

Aang growled low in his throat, "_What _was romantic?"

"What? Aang, are you…okay?" Katara approached the boy slowly, reaching one tentative hand to touch his shoulder. In a second he had grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her from the half-cell onto Appa's back. There they quickly made a speedy get away.

Zuko could only stare after the Avatar's form, stuck behind the bars as he was.

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"Aang?"

"Yes, Katara."

"I want to thank you for saving me."

"It was no problem, Katara."

"Aang?"

"Yes, Katara?"

"I have one question though."

"What is it?"

"Now, I suppose it's not that important, but if you don't mind could you tell me why," Here she stopped to inhale deeply, "why I am currently TIED TO THIS SPIRITS' BLESSED TREE!!!!!!!"

And indeed she was. Tied to a tree, that is. In the middle of the forest. With Aang smirking at her proudly.

"Because I'm a bad boy, Katara, a bad boy"

"It's bad_ ass_, Aang! Bad _**ass**_!" Sokka's vote hissed out of a nearby bush.

"Right. What he said."

Katara's inarticulate scream of rage carried to the heavens.

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	3. Toph the Amazing Human Lie Detector

This chapter is significantly shorter than the other two, but I got it up a lot faster so I hope that counts for something. Please read the author's note at the bottom, but for now please enjoy:

Toph: the Amazing Human Lie Detector

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"Can't you do anything right?" Katara screamed, pushing Zuko away from the broken shards of ceramic on the floor that moments before had been one of the group's only six plates. She knelt down and began to clean up the mess.

Zuko backed away from the scene quickly, stuttering all the way, "I-I'm sorry. I was just trying to help. I didn't mean-"

Katara's cold glare stopped his wavering attempt at an apology in its tracks.

"You don't_ mean_ a lot of things do you? And you can't even do something as simple as wash the dishes? Way to pull your weight around here! " She sighed melodramatically, "Well, I suppose I can't blame you. You know what they say: once a spoiled prince…" she trailed off.

The rest of the group, gathered around the fire and fighting over what scraps remained of breakfast, eagerly watched the show. What? Sitting around the temple waiting patiently for the end of the world got old fast.

Zuko clenched his fists and took a deep, fortifying breath. "I am trying to apologize. I should have been more careful and made sure not to get distracted." At this he paused to glare accusingly at Sokka and the boomerang hidden behind its owner's back. The very boomerang that mere minutes ago had come within a hair's breath of cracking his skull open.

"Just shut up and go away."

The prince's jaw clenched spasmodically. That was the last straw. He had tried to be nice. Really he had. And it was hard for him, being so new to the concept and all. But all she did was nag! And in the rare instances she wasn't nagging, she was picking fights! Well it wasn't called a 'Fire Nation Temper' for nothing, and if she wanted a fight she'd damn well get one!

The situation quickly degenerated form there.

"Wow. Look at them going at it." Toph smiled innocently, "You can really tell they like each other, huh?"

Every head whipped around to face the blind girl. Sokka was the first to gather his wits about him enough to allow him to speak.

"Wha-?"

If not eloquently.

"Well, just look at the two of them," she gestured emphatically, slightly to the left of where the two were actually standing, "Always picking 'fights' and yelling and getting_ real_ close to each other's faces. And I mean, come on! Everyone knows you only pick on someone if you have a crush on them." Toph laughed crazily, "Katara must be crushing _really_ hard."

Katara sputtered indignantly, "That is the _stupidest_ thing I have ever heard! I yell at him because his an untrustworthy rat-dog!"

"I can tell when you're lyyyyyyyying," the young earthbender crowed. Katara just growled and bared her surprisingly sharp, white teeth.

Zuko's head jerked away from Toph to stare at Katara nervously. He backed away slowly.

"And then we have His Hotness, over here," Toph continued, as if what she was saying was in no way unusual or mind shattering. "He's got a crush bigger than his ego, and that's saying something!"

"No I don't!" Zuko denied vehemently.

"More _lyyyyyyyyyying_."

"I most certainly am not!" He stomped his feet and snorted fire.

"Oh, I think the lady doth protest too much."

Zuko joined Katara in the glare-and-growl contest. The competition for first place was fierce.

"Just how long," Sokka started slowly, dangerously, "has this been going on?"

"What are you taking about? This is madness!"

"_How long?_" He turned to face his precious baby sister, pleading, "Why didn't you tell me? How am I supposed to kill everyone who looks at you cross-eyed if I don't even know that they're doing it?" Determination settled into his features as he decided solemnly, "I've got to make up for lost time." With that he whipped out his trusty space sword, gave a surprisingly fierce battle cry, and leapt at the lone firebender in their midst.

Zuko, recognizing the crazed look in Sokka's eyes from the time he had accidentally stepped between a platypus-bear and her cub, gave up on defending himself against any and all allegations and booked it. Sokka gave chase.

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Several hours later, Zuko dragged himself up to Toph and let his exhausted form collapse to the ground beside her. He tried to speak, wheezed instead, panted for a few minutes, then began again. "I…_don't_…have a crush…on _Katara_. That is the most…_idiotic_ thing… I have ever heard. She threatened to…_kill_ me… not three weeks ago." He stopped to enjoy the simple pleasures of breathing freely and not running for his life from an enraged big brother. "I thought you were supposed to know when someone was lying! I most certainly wasn't!"

"Oh Sparky," She consoled, shaking her head sadly, "I _told _you I'd make you pay for burning my feet." She then skipped off merrily, cackling all the while.

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Hey everyone, a couple of notes:

1. The next chapter will be the first of the facets-to-keep-them-apart chapters. I won't tell you more than that, but it's going to be _all kinds_ of fun.

2. I just figured out how to enable unsigned reviews, so if that's what's been stopping you, go right on ahead to that big button that makes me smile (wink, wink).

3. Be warned. This_ is_ a shameless self plug. I will soon be releasing a new story that I am very excited about. I'll mention it again when it has actually gone up, but please keep a look out for it. ^-^

And as always, thank you for reading.


	4. Cultural Differences Part 1: Fire Nation

Sorry this one took me a while to get up! As promised, this is this first "facet to keep them apart chapter." It will have two parts, one of Katara in the Fire Nation and one with Zuko in the Southern Water Tribe. But for now, please enjoy:

Cultural Differences Part I: Fire Nation

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"Stand up straight. Shoulders back. Stomach in." The old matron put her hands on her hips and tisked loudly, circling a girl dressed in fine maroon robes and beautifully ornamented hair. "They want me to make a Fire Lady out of _this_." She shook her head in acknowledgment of future agony, "I'll be a sheep-cow farmer before the job is half done." The number of assorted handmaidens scattered throughout the room tittered into their hands.

Normally, had anyone had the sheer gall to speak to Katara in such a manner, she would have shown them _exactly_ why no one messed with a Water Tribe woman. Normally she would have taught the old bat a lesson she wouldn't soon forget. Normally, she would have done _anything_ but just stand there and _take it_.

But she was tired. She was getting married to Zuko in less than a month, and nothing had been going right.

They had talked about it—in a mature and serious manner—and after some arguments, a bit of screaming, a few shattered priceless antiques, and one or two epic bending duels pitting fire against water, they decided that they would live in the Fire Nation. Well, assuming Katara got her way. Which she would. Though she hardly remembered why she had fought so hard for it now…

But the Fire Nation needed a strong Fire Lord, and everyone knew Zuko was the man for the job. She could be Fire Lady if it meant he would be where he was needed and they would still be together.

But she didn't even have Zuko with her now! Part of the agreement they had reached was that they would spend the two months before the wedding in the other's county of origin. Prove to the other that they could adapt no matter where they lived.

Katara had been more than confident in her ability to get by in the ease and comfort the Fire Nation palace afforded. The harsh tundra of the South Pole was something else entirely, but the Fire Nation? Seriously, Katara had wondered, what was Zuko worried about?

Ha. Now she knew.

The heat never went away. Even in the middle of the night it was humid and sticky and _broiling_. And she was expected to wear a full, heavy gown at all times to be a 'proper lady'. She was going to cook before she ever made it to her wedding day!

And then there was The Court. She hated The Court. The Court could drop dead for all she cared. No, that wasn't true. She would care. She would care so much that she would go to the funeral in her best Water Tribe Blue and dance on the grave.

Every highborn, pompous jackass in The Court—namely every member—thought she was a joke. Some of them literally. On the day she was introduced as Fire-Lady-to-be they had laughed. Laughed! Some of them_ still_ thought the wedding was Zuko's eccentric idea of a long-running gag.

The rest were worse. They were of the opinion that she was a dirt-poor, peasant hussy stealing the most eligible bachelor in the nation away from their daughters. As though Zuko would ever even consider one of the simple-minded, simpering, shallow girls that made up The Court to be wife material.

Or at least he had damn well _better_ not.

But the point was…she was hot and sweaty. She couldn't deal with the servants bustling in every corner of every room who seemed to think they had permission to grab at her and change her clothes or hair or shoes at any given moment. The foods were so spicy they gave her indigestion (oh, what she would do for some of Gran-Gran's stewed sea-prunes now!), she was homesick and she missed her fiancé!

Though it was not as though they had no contact. Katara and Zuko had been sending messages to each other via carrier hawk, but it took the message at least two weeks to travel back and forth. And in the last message Katara had received from her beloved, after she had shamefully admitted that she didn't know if she could handle life in the Fire Nation Capital…Zuko had made fun of her! She would bet her bending that he had been laughing when he wrote it. And Zuko never laughed! It had read a little something like this:

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My Beloved Katara,

I cannot tell you how much receiving your letter brightened an otherwise…(though I hesitate to use the word) horrific day. I am glad to hear that you are well and keeping your sense of humor about you! Not being able to deal with the servants and handmaidens! Ha! Not thinking you'll make an adequate Fire Lady! I almost died laughing!

I, however, am ashamed to admit to having some _real_ problems of my own. I have recently come to realize that the great majority stem from the unfortunate reality that, and here I mean no offense, your entire tribe and everyone in it (including and especially your immediate family) are completely out of their Agni be Praised MINDS.

I would write more, but I'm afraid this hawk won't last long in the subzero temperatures we have been experiencing here (Oh, and did I mention the _blizzards_? ...Your brother's pet is surprisingly hardy, I can hardly believe the things still alive.) and…Gran-Gran (I have been informed that to refer to her as anything else would "get my skinny tail-end whipped") is rushing me off to join the men in some type of hunting party. Now. In the dark. With the blizzard. Joy.

_ Eagerly _awaiting our reunion,

Imperial Fire Lord Zuko

P.S. Thanks, 'Tara. I needed a good laugh.

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It wasn't funny! She was a stubborn (read: pigheaded) girl. She was sure she could have handled nearly anything that was thrown at her! Even given how strange and hot and uncomfortable everything in the Fire Nation ended up being, she still thought she could have stayed strong. But…dear Spirits…Fire Lady lessons would be the death of her yet, she just knew it!

Sit up, Lady Katara. Do not slouch, Lady Katara. Balance this second century tome of epic poetry on your head while reciting the ceremonial morning prayers to Agni and performing kabuki, Lady Katara!

She idly wondered what Zuko would think if when he came back from the South Pole there was only a large, damp crater where his palace used to be. After taking a grim moment to consider the possible ramifications this would present to her marriage ceremony, she decided it wasn't worth it. But only just.

"Are you even paying attention to me?" The sharp voice of the slave driv-…matron interrupted her thoughts. "I cannot work with this! You will be no kind of wife to our great Lord if you cannot even remain attentive during your lessons." A tired sigh, "And you are so very behind where a girl even half your age should be. If only Lord Zuko weren't so stubborn! But…I suppose those years at sea turned him a bit odd."

Katara wanted to kill her. In that instant she felt a greater desire to send an ice-spike through someone's skull than she ever had before. Or at _least_ scream and threaten, even just a little. But she would remain strong. She had held herself back this long; she could keep it up for… the rest of her life. Dear Spirits, why?

No. She refused to make a scene and become an even bigger embarrassment to Zuko. She _refused_.

In that moment, while Katara allowed herself to daydreaming of subtle homicide, a young messenger boy ran into the chamber the women inhabited. "Lady Katara! Lady Katara! Message for you!"

The old woman suspended her droning appraisal of Katara's faults to turn sharp eyes upon the boy, "Can you not see that we are busy?"

"But, I was told to deliver all letters from the Fire Lord Zuko to his betrothed at once."

The mention of Zuko's name was enough to snap Katara out of her happy fantasies. "Another letter came already? But I only received the last one two days ago! "

"I don't know anything about that, Milady. All I know is a messenger hawk arrived just now carrying a letter for you. Wasn't one of our hawks though…"

Katara had already stopped listening and walked over to snatch the letter from the boy's loose fingers. The scroll did indeed have her name scribbled across the front in Zuko's distinctive scrawl; however, it was much messier than usual, as though it had been written with great haste. Disregarding this, she unrolled the scroll and began to read:

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Beloved Katara,

Dear-heart, Love of my Life, Center of my Heart…Muffin(?). I think we _may_ have had a _slight_ miscommunication in our last correspondence. You see, I enjoyed the wit you displayed in your last letter _so much_ that, instead of keeping it private as I usually do, I shared it with Sokka. He informed me that he…believed you were serious. Upon re-reading your letter, I found that he _might_ have been correct. If you were joking, as I hope and believe you were, please disregard the remainder of this letter. If not…

'Tara, Baby, Honey-cakes…Are you okay? Seriously, why aren't you showing them who's the boss? You show everyone who's the boss! You show _me_ who's the boss!

Sokka, who is reading over my shoulder, just informed me that you probably "didn't want to disrespect my jerk-culture." This…seems like something you might do and knowing what I do about the palace and The Court I feel the need to inform you that if half the things in your letter are true…they are making fun of you. But not only that, they're _testing_ you.

The only thing I _didn't_ worry about when I left you alone there was your ability to deal with the court and the servant and anyone else you might meet one-on-one.

Katara, you're in the _Fire Nation _now. Where Mai of the thousand hidden knives came from. Where Tye Lee the Pink Cloud of Doom came from. Where AZULA came from! Where people who cut down all challengers are respected above all others! That was the reason Azula was so popular as a child and I wasn't! I was too nice and tractable!

Just be your ordinary, ornery self and everything will work out just fine.

Endless Love (and please don't hurt me when I see you again),

Imperial Fire Lord Zuko

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Katara's eyes slowly rose from the paper gripped in her fingers to focus on the old woman before her. A small, happy smile blossomed on her face.

The matron felt a sudden, inexplicable chill race down her spine…

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Across the globe, Sokka wandered through knee high snow, swinging his head left and right, all the while calling loudly, "Oh, Hawk-ky, where _aaarrreee_ you?"

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^-^


	5. Cultural Differences Part 2: Water Tribe

Thank you all so much for the outpouring of support that has been shown for this story. You have no idea how much it inspires me to start (and finish) the next chapters!

But first: **PAY ATTENTION HERE**: I recently started a joint account (called "lost_inc") with a friend of mine (Watery-the–Strange) and we just posted a story. It's called "Give Thanks for Nothing" and can be found in my profile under favorite authors. Go check it out! (It's cracktastic!)

And now, please enjoy:

Cultural Differences Part 2: Water Tribe

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"What in La's Ocean do you _think_ you're doing, boy?" Gran-Gran approached the young Fire Lord at a brisk walk, shaking her head, "Because, honestly, I can't imagine what it is you're _actually_ doing."

Zuko looked up from where he sat huddled under three layers of moose-seal fur, trying—unsuccessfully—to mend a fishing net in a proximity of the way he had just spent the last four hours learning.

He glanced down at his shoddy work then back to the old woman's face hopefully. "…It's not_ that_ bad, is it? I mean…I know it's not perfect but-"

"Not that, boy." She glanced at the netting, "Though that _is_ one of the single worst repair jobs I've ever seen. I don't doubt it's in worse shape now then when you started. But we'll get to that latter." Her eyes promised that they_ would_ get to it. "Now,_ what_ are you doing?"

Zuko was lost for words. He was just sitting, trying to mend the net. He wasn't doing anything else. At all. If the net wasn't what she was referring to then…Were the Fire Nation and Water Tribes really so different that even the manner in which he sat made these people uncomfortable? Then how was his marriage going to stand a chance? Katara and Sokka never seemed put off by anything like that, but maybe they just didn't say anything because there were bigger things to worry about back then. Maybe it was just the older generation? Or maybe…

Gran-Gran, noting Zuko's growing confusion and slight panic, repressed a tired sigh. "Snap out of it, boy. You're a smart lad. Use your head for a moment and I'm sure you can figure it out. And speak quickly, before you burn the hut down."

Zuko hesitantly moved his eyes from the old woman's and let his gaze drop to his crossed feet to think.

…Oh.

He slowly gathered his feet under him, climbed upright, and, careful not to let the furs drag, stepped out of the still blazing hearth.

"Um…well, I-I was careful to make sure I didn't burn anything! It's just s-so cold here, and well…"

At his rambling explanation she let out a muttered, "Firebenders." With a roll of her tired eyes the old witc-…Zuko's future in-law continued, "I'm not sure how you were able to sit in the fire without burning yourself, let alone your breeches—and I don't _want_ to know—but don't do it again. But that's not what I'm here for. You, boy, are late for the council meeting."

Zuko froze.

No. Just no. There was _no way_ on Agni's warm earth that he had been sitting here _sewing _while he was getting later and later to the blasted meeting that had been all these ice-dwelling nutcases had been talking about for the last month and a half. The meeting in which the tribe was to decide if he was worthy of marrying their chief's only daughter and therefore becoming one of them. It just wasn't _possible_.

And then the desperate Fire Lord realized the he _wasn't on_ Agni's warm earth. He was on some nefarious block of ice at the end of the world where the natives got their kicks by tormenting poor, innocent monarchs who just wanted to stay warm and far, far away from shark-whales (the memories of the "hunt" he had been forced to join would haunt him forever).

"Well, hurry up!" He was roughly taken by the shoulder and pushed out the door, halfway across the village, and into the communal igloo—the place where all councils where held.

Within ten minutes Zuko had been sequestered away at the far side of a circle of elders and tribal leaders. The other members of the tribe sat ringing them, staring with interest at the spectacle to come.

He was nervous and the fact that he had held up the whole debacle by nearly fifteen minutes certainly wasn't helping.

"Hey, your Jerkiness," Sokka crowed as he swaggered over to his soon-to-be-brother-in-laws side. He threw himself to the floor and flung an arm around Zuko's shoulders. "You doin' alright?"

"Sure. Yeah. Fine. Everything's good over here!" Zuko laughed nervously.

"Right, and I'm a vegetarian." Sokka rolled his eyes and leaned in closer to the other's ear, "Don't worry about it. You've got me and Gran-Gran on your side!"

"…And that makes me feel better, why?"

"Very funny."

Before they could continue in this vein, a throat from the front of the circle was cleared imperiously.

Pakku stood from his place and, after a quick glance at Hakoda for permission to proceed, spoke to the crowd, "We all know why we are gathered together today. This young man," here he made a theatric gesture in Zuko's direction, "wishes to wed our very own Katara. Allowing an outsider to marry into our tribe is always a serious affair, but this is certainly an even more severe situation then most. Because of… extenuating circumstances, allowing this union would also mean the separation of both the couple and any future children from the tribe."

Despite the fact that everyone in attendance_ knew_ everything that was being said, a gasp still escaped the crowd. To have anyone willingly leave the tribe for an extended period was unheard of. The only time anything close _ever _happened was if the person in question was leaving in _exile_. It was a punishment that only the very worst of criminals received; most would choose death with the tribe over life without it.

"That's…not a good sign."

"Shut up, Sokka."

"As such," Pakku continued, pointedly ignoring the squabbling boys, "I will lead this council in deciding if we can allow this marriage. As we all know, the groom's family should be present to argue his merits-"

Zuko choked on his own spit. _He didn't know that!_ How was he supposed to know that? No one told him! He was going to_ kill_ Sokka.

"-But as that is not possible, my wife and the brother of the bride have agreed to argue in the groom's favor."

…So maybe he'd let Sokka live. But only until the meeting was over.

"At this time we will go over the results of the Trials of Worth."

…The What of What now? He was being_ tested_ this whole time? Oh, dear Agni…He did horribly on tests! Especially when he didn't even know there was one! Well, that was it. He was never getting married. Katara couldn't be _too_ angry about him inadvertently ruining their future together, right?

…Maybe they could elope. Then again, that would probably count as an international incident…

It'd be worth it. As long as he never had to come back _here_ again, it'd be worth it.

"The first Trial is the Trial of the Hunt. How is the groom judged?"

There was some nervous muttering from the crowd. Bato hesitantly stood and looked apologetically towards Zuko, "Well, he didn't do so well on the shark-whale hunt… He tried! It was obvious that he tried. But he spent more time figuring out the sails and the harpoons and gaping at the shark-whales then actually hunting…"

Pakku stared down his nose at the wide-eyed Fire Lord, "So that's a 'no' then?"

"No, it's not," Gran-Gran cut in. "Do we not normally take into account all the hunts we have seen the groom take part in, not just the most recent?"

"Yes," Pakku answered shortly, "but as we only have one example of-"

"He hunted down the Avatar, didn't he?"

Zuko almost died. _ This_ was his defense? Who needed opposition?

"Yeah he did! He followed Aang to the ends of the earth. Literally! Kept catching him too!"

He changed his mind. Sokka was going to die _now_.

"I hardly think-"

"It counts," Gran-Gran continued unimpeded, "because it demonstrates his willingness to continue the hunt when it seems hopeless and his unsurpassed skills as a tracker."

"He was hunting the _Avatar_! The world's last hope! We can't allow-"

"The Trial isn't meant to judge _what_ is being hunted or _why_, just that the groom _can_ hunt. He has proven himself as a proficient hunter when using his own people's techniques, instead of the poor boy finding himself stranded in a canoe for the first time in the path of a rampaging shark-whale. I say he is worthy in this Trial."

"But-" Pakku cut off when Gran-Gran gave him one of her _looks_. "…The groom's worth is acknowledged in the Trial of the Hunt."

Sokka clapped Zuko on the back, "Way to go!"

"The second Trial," Pakku bit out, "Is the Trial of Valor and Loyalty." Once the words escaped his mouth, the tension seemed to leave that old man's shoulder and a deep calm overtook his face, "How is the groom judged?"

After a moment of silence from the crowd, Pakku spoke up again. "I say he is found lacking! He first came to us as an enemy, attacked this village when it was at it's weakest, and have we not all heard the story of when he betrayed us all in Ba Sing Se?"

"Objection!"

"I said _shut up_, Sokka," Zuko growled out of the corner of his mouth.

"Let me handle this," Sokka responded quietly, then at full volume, "None of that counts!"

Zuko's hand met his forehead—it was not a happy reunion.

"Unfortunately," the oddly overprotective step-grandfather scoffed, "you cannot dismiss testimony because it is 'unfair.' All that was said is tru-"

"No it's not! I mean, yeah, he was an enemy and everything and he _did_ attack us-"

Sokka was _so_ dead!

"-but he didn't hurt anyone. He didn't even do any damage! He just came, got Aang, and left everybody alone!"

"Fine," came the disgruntled answer, "but there is still the matter of the betra-"

"And he never _betrayed_ us. I mean yeah, he attacked us at Ba Sing Sa after Katara thought he wouldn't, but he had never actually been _on our side_. Breaking a nonverbal nonaggression pact isn't _betrayal_. It's not _nice_, but it's not betrayal."

"…Even if what you say is true, _not being_ cowardly or disloyal is not the same as _being_ valiant and loyal."

"Yep!" Sokka chirped happily. Zuko stared at his goofy expression in abject disbelief then inconspicuously elbowed him in the stomach.

"Oof! I mean…He's plenty valiant! Have you seen his guy! He's drowning in valiance! He's valiant up to his eyeballs! He's-"

At this point, as Sokka continued rambling about his…merits, Zuko seriously considered getting up and taking a relaxing walk off the nearest glacier.

"-uko's so valiant that when-"

Pakku interrupted quickly, "Do you have an _example_ of this is called valor?"

"Uh…"

"Actually," Hakoda spoke up, "_I_ do." An approving mummer went through the crowd at having the chief himself speak in the Fire Lord's favor. "At great personal risk to himself, he helped to liberate me and my son's betrothed from a heavily guarded prison."

"Ha! You see? I told ya!"

"Shut up, Sokka."

"…That really hurts, Dad."

Pakku released a deep breath, "Yes. That is indeed a valiant action. But what of loyalty? Is this is only-"

"Oh, oh! Pick me! Me! I got one!"

"…Yes?"

"This!" Sokka whipped around and threw himself at Zuko. Once he had pinned the flailing monarch to the ground by one shoulder he pulled up the other boy's parka and undershirt.

"_What are you-"_

"He got this," Sokka said, gesturing to the large, discolored scar over Zuko's heart, "when he took a bolt of lightening for Katara! It was aimed right at her and he threw himself in front of it! Beat that!"

After some angry grumbling Pakku intoned emotionlessly, "The groom's worth is acknowledged in the Trial of Valor and Loyalty."

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. It was almost over now.

"The third Trial is the Trial of the Bloodline."

...Damn it.

A rumble went through the gathered throng of tribesmen. That hardly seemed fair, particularly in _this _boy's case.

"Let us all remember that though the…newlyweds will be far from the tribe, members they will remain and as such any future children will be free to marry back into the tribes."

…Maybe it was appropriate after all. Especially when one considered how the groom's sister turned out…

"So," Pakku continued, "Who finds the groom—great-grandson of Sozin and first born of Ozai— worthy _now_."

Dead Silence.

"Wow," Sokka muttered, as helpful as ever, "Pakku really doesn't like you, huh?"

Pakku raised one smug eyebrow and looked out at his disheartened opposition.

Zuko shifted his eyes nervously side-to-side and then slowly, with all the apprehension of a small child correcting a teacher's mistake in class, raised one hand.

"Um…did I ever tell you about my _other_ great-grandfather?"

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—**And because I had a special request—**

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Dear Zuko,

_Thank you_ for explaining that little tid-bit of information to me. Since I read your last letter, I've been having a _much _better time. I've…explained… to The Court and assorted others exactly how our relationships will play out from here on in.

I may even let you live.

Lot's of love,

Katara

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As Katara attached the scroll to her brother's messenger hawk's leg and shooed it out the window, she turned back to what she had been doing before the mood to write had struck her.

"Now, where were we?"

"Nowhere, ma'am," came a weak voice from a particularly haughty courtier huddled in a corner and watching Katara's floating water whip warily through his fingers.

In the doorway of the room, the old matron rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Now _this_, I can work with."

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R&R! ^-^


	6. Tea Time Encounters

Sorry it took so long to update! But I just posted another story on this account (it's a lot like "Things Fall Apart" but focuses on HakodaXUrsa (check it out!)) and final papers and exams are really starting to get to me. But for now, please enjoy:

Chapter 6: Tea Time Encounters (or Iroh Victorious)

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Zuko wiped down a recently vacated table with the long, circular motions he had acquired through long practice. He glanced up and absently noted that the teashop was nearly empty—as it always was this time of day. Between the mid-morning and early afternoon rushes –the late mid-morning lull, as Uncle liked to call it—only a few die-hard tea fanatics remained.

As he busied himself cleaning tables and collecting dirty dishes, the prince took a moment to look around the brightly lit little shop. He let a satisfied little smile play at the corner at his mouth and hummed quietly to himself before returning to work. Zuko was having a good day today.

Good days didn't happen often, but when they struck Zuko was determined to scrape together every bit of happiness available to him. Mostly because good days only came right before calamity struck.

For example, the week leading to the fateful Agni Kai against his father? Best week of his _life_. In those seven days alone he had advanced two full sets in his firebending lessons, beaten Azula in sparring for the first (and only) time, and had a nearly hour long conversation with one of his sister's friends. The quiet, pretty one…

Zuko stubbornly refused to dwell on what horrors awaited him _this_ time.

After gathering a trayfull of dirty dishware, he ambled into the back of the shop to drop everything off and start the process all over again.

The way things were going maybe Jin would even stop by for a cup of tea. That would be nice…

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Katara marched stiffly through the streets of Ba Sing Se's lower ring. The sounds of happy, productive citizens out for a day at market and the joyful laughter of children caused her eye to twitch and her teeth to grit.

Katara was having a _bad_ day. A horrible day. A morbid, deranged, hellish day. And she was about to snap.

As such, she had decided to get herself as far away from the others—especially Sokka—as possible before she _killed_ someone. She had thought that going shopping in the lower ring might make her feel better.

She was wrong.

The market was so crowded she couldn't take three steps unmolested—at least once literally—anything that she wanted to buy was outside her price range—even in the lower ring!—and most of the clothing she tried on didn't fit right and just made her feel fat.

Stopping in the middle of the street—and systematically ignoring the angry yells of those behind her—Katara let her head sink below her shoulders. That was it. She gave up. The universe had beaten her down. Today was just going to be horrible. Nothing had worked out the way she had wanted it to.

…But maybe she could do _something_ to make herself feel better. Katara was feeling the need for a little pampering, and she had heard there was a wonderful little teashop around here somewhere…

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A bell above the door tinkled softly as Katara made her way into the small store. Looking around, she noticed that the clientele was sparse and overwhelmingly elderly, but everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. The harsh lines of her face softened as she took her first step past the door.

Then the worst thing possible happened.

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Zuko looked up from the cup he was scrubbing when he heard the bell that signified the entrance of another customer.

"Zuko," his uncle called from the storage room, "See to the customer. No patron of our fine shop should ever be left waiting. The entire Tea Experience will be ruined!"

"Yes, Uncle." Zuko sighed, put one last cup in its place in the cabinet, and walked into the front of the store.

He dried his hands on his apron as he walked around the counter to address the customer.

"Welcome to-" and stopped dead. It was that water peasant that traveled with the Avatar!

…The girl one!

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Katara was just opening her mouth to greet the apron-clad serving boy approaching her when she noticed the distinctive scar covering the left side of his face.

No. No. _Lemur feces_, NO! Not today! She couldn't take anymore of this! _Oh yeah, Universe? Well this time, you'll get yours!_

She popped the cap of her water skin.

The prince turned tea-slave backpedaled quickly, waving his hands in surrender. "No, wait-" He jolted to a stop as his back collided with the edge of the counter. He realized with sudden clarity that he was trapped between a four-foot, stone counter and an enraged, armed waterbender.

…He knew something like this was coming. Whatever it was he had done in a past life to deserve this: he only hoped it was _good_.

"Listen! I'm not here to capture-"

But it was too late for reason. Katara had been serious about snapping. This time Zuko had been cut off by a three-foot ice spear to the chest.

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And that's how Zuko died.

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Breathing heavily, and completely ignorant of the horrified cries of onlookers, Katara looked in satisfaction at the downed prince. After several moments of complete stillness from her opponent, it slowly dawned on her that the puddle of blood beneath the boy was oftly big…

With wide eyes Katara took one hesitant step forward, then jerked away. "…Zuko?" she ventured hopefully. The silence was telling.

Clapping her hands to her mouth and rocking on her heels, she could only stare in bone-deep terror. "Oh, La. Oh, sweet, sweet La. Oh…"

And then the worst thing possible happened.

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Uncle Iroh bounded happily to the storefront, done with his less tea-related duties at last. "Nephew, what was all that commotion? Did you drop somethi- "

He trailed off when he noticed the waterbender, pale and shaking, in the otherwise empty shop. _Ah_, he thought, _Zuko must have scared her. Now, where is that boy?_

He casually followed her wide-eyed gaze to a point just before the counter.

And stared.

And stared some more.

And absently noted the ice-spike still wedged in his beloved nephew's no-longer-bleeding chest. Then he turned back to the waterbender.

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And that's how Katara died.

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Iroh moved slowly to his nephew's side and fell heavily to his knees beside him. The old man gathered the teenager into his arms, running tender, loving hands through short hair and over bloodless cheeks.

"This city…" he trailed off, lost, looking at his boy's too-still face. "This city," he repeated, voice gaining strength, "has _taken all my children from me!_" He tore his gaze from his nephew to focus hard eyes on the milling throng outside the teashop's door.

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And that's how the great city of Ba Sing Se burned to the ground.

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A/N: Can you tell I'm stressed from finals? I'll say right now that I seriously doubt there will be another chapter quite like this one (…tell me if you WANT another chapter like this one). Unfortunately, I also have to say I don't think I'll be able to update again until somewhere around New Year's because of the afore-mentioned finals.

But as always, thanks for reading!


	7. Of Loves Lost

Ha! I said I'd get this up by New Years, and here it is! …Even if it is a bit late. Anyway, I have yet another story that will be out soon, so please keep a look out for it. But for now, for your reading pleasure, let me introduce:

Things Fall Apart: Chapter 7: Of Loves Lost

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"So then Aang said, 'Katara, you make my wind blow, baby!'," Katara reminisced, barely suppressing her laughter long enough to finish the story. Zuko had no such restraint and burst into strangled laughter immediately.

"W-what does that even _mean_?" the Fire Lord demanded when he could find sufficient breath.

Katara considered the question seriously for a moment before deciding decisively, "I don't want to know."

Zuko's booming laughter started again and Katara's own giggling soon joined it; the two could only cling together weakly until they regained control of themselves.

As she calmed, Katara's smile grew sad and her eyes distant. "I…I just miss him so much. Always. Not a day goes by I don't wish I could see one of his goofy grins again."

The man at her side considered the Water Tribe woman for a moment. Barely thirty years old and already widowed two years…but then, he hardly had room to talk.

He placed a strong hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently, "I know how you feel, Katara. After Mai, well, there'll never be another woman like her."

Katara reached up and placed her hand over the Fire Lord's. The contact helped them both; after…well, _after_ at least they had had each other. It was not just having a shoulder to cry on, but _being_ a shoulder to cry on that had been what really allowed her to begin to heal.

"And we'll always have the children."

"Yeah," Zuko smiled softly, "I don't know what I would have done without Li."

Katara shook her head, "I still can't believe you named him that."

"What's wrong with Li's name?"

"It's just…shouldn't the heir to the Fire Nation throne be a little more... distinctive?"

Zuko straightened and harrumphed with paternal indignation, "I'll have you know 'Li' is plenty distinctive. He will be the only 'Fire Lord Li' in history; there have been over fifteen 'Fire Lord Zuko's'. And if something ever happens he can go nearly anywhere in the world and blend in without having to come up with an alias. There're a _million_ Li's. Just…not among the Fire Nation nobility."

Katara started giggling again.

"Oh, because you're so original." The Fire Lord stared down his nose at the woman's hysterics, "'Yue' and 'Gyotso' are really _so_ much better."

The Avatar's widow straitened imperiously, "_My _children are named after dear and wise friends. Not some random pseudonym I picked up while I was on the run!"

"…Should I have named my son 'Mushi' then?"

They stared at each other for several long seconds before descending into wild, sidesplitting laughs once again.

Just as they were calming down the door to the chamber crashed opened, banging loudly against the wall.

"Sokka," Katara scolded, "you're going to break Zuko's doors!"

Sokka ignored the interruption to his grand entrance and declared, "I saw that!"

"Saw what? And come to mention it, how did you see anything? The door was closed and we're two stories up."

"Then it's a good thing I was watching you through a spyglass from a tree in the garden, now isn't it?"

Zuko and Katara looked at each from the corners of their eyes before deciding to humor the water warrior. "Okay, Sokka, you caught us," Zuko began, clapping the man on the back, "now, what did we do?"

"You know what you did! Trying to seduce my sister!" Sokka took a moment to consider his previous words, then rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Actually, good job. You'll be good for each other. I approve." Sokka crossed his arms and closed his eyes serenely, as if his blessing was the last thing standing in the way of True Love, and now all that was left was to plan the wedding.

Zuko and Katara just gaped at him oddly.

Noticing the unusually long pause before his expected cries of gratitude and long awaited acknowledgement of his amazing generosity and sheer awesomeness, he opened his eyes to take in the benders in front of him. "Why are you looking at me like that? We all know you've loved each other since the beginning. All that tension and then accepting each other and going on super secret field trips-"

"By that logic," Zuko cut in, "_me_ and _you_ would be in love too!"

"-And," Sokka carried on as if he had never been interrupted, "you're so different from each other, but alike at the same time! And you spent all that time together, comforting each other-"

"Sokka, listen to yourself!" Katara insisted, running a hand through her hair, "We're in love because we talk about our dead spouses together? Where did you even get that?"

"Sokka," the Fire Lord said quietly, "the woman I loved since I was _nine years old_ died not three years ago, our son is still known to comes into my room at night crying because he misses his mother, and you think I'm off gallivanting about having an affair with the widow of one of my closest friends in this world or the next?"

"Yep, pretty much."

Once more the eyes of the two met over Sokka's head as they came to the only logical conclusion. Zuko took the water warrior by the shoulder and backed him gently into the ornate chair behind him. He kept the supportive, restraining hand firmly in place.

Sokka's confused gaze was drawn away from Zuko by his sister's voice, "Sokka, we _love _you. We will always love you. But I want you to tell us truthfully: have you been getting into the cactus juice again?"

"W-what?"

"Sokka," Katara said, putting her hand on Sokka's free shoulder, effectively trapping him between herself and the Fire Lord.

"This is an intervention."

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I'm sorry about not replying to everyones reviews last chapter, but I was... stressed at the time and I figured that everyone would rather have a new chapter out than have me replying to the reviews, but I want to just let everyone know that every review and PM I've recieved has meant so incrediably much to me, and are really what is keeping this story going. THANK YOU everyone who has shown support for or read this story.


	8. Momma's Boy

This chapter is short for how long it took me to post, but there are several (good) reasons for this:

Since I posted the last chapter, I began one other Avatar fic (hopefully to be published soon) and a Bleach fic that's been hounding me for over a year (of which the prologue is up).

I got completely out of my writing zone when I went home for the holidays. I'm just getting back to normal now (This is also why I haven't responded to reviews, but I'm very sorry, and I want you all to know that I **really appreciate** all the feedback I've gotten.)

I haven't really been as pleased as I would have hoped with the last several chapters of this story, and it discouraged me from writing more (but I really like this chapter!)

One last IMPORTANT THING: I don't plan on replying to reviews that don't ask questions about (or have suggestions for) the story anymore. I'm really sorry, but this semester is nuts and I'm just looking for time to write the actual chapters. But please keep reviewing because they really get my creative juices flowing (and brighten my whole day).

Anyway, now please enjoy: Chapter 8: "Momma's Boy"

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"It's going to be alright," Katara said quietly, a warm palm over Zuko's shoulder.

Zuko took a breath and raised a hand to grip his girlfriend's fingers tightly. Just through that door…just through that door was the last chance he had to find his mother. He and Katara had been on this journey, and therefore absent from the Fire nation, for over two months—far too long for the Fire Lord to be away during a time of political upheaval. This was the last lead they would be able to follow before hanging their heads and returning in defeat.

But beyond the terror he felt at the chance of seeing his mother again, of finally answering the questions his heart had always whispered about her disappearance, Zuko also dreaded the end of the journey—and consequently his time alone with Katara.

Every moment had been so special…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"La Damn it to the Spirit Realm, I thought you were in hiding as a peasant for over six months! In enemy territory! Shouldn't you be better at this?!?" Katara shrieked hysterically as she and her soon-to-be-_**ex**_-boyfriend ran for their lives away from the crazed mob at their heels.

"It's not my fault I'm a bad liar! And shouldn't you be _glad_ your boyfriend can't tell a believable lie if he wanted to?" And _damn_, did Zuko wish he could lie like Azula at that moment.

"Not when you can't even muster up a, 'No, no, I'm not the Fire Lord. I just happen to share his unfortunate tendency of running into flaming fists face first'!"

Zuko's quiet 'that was uncalled for…' went largely ignored.

"Lemur feces, Zuko, they were lynching badly made effigies of you!"

"Well, how was I supposed to know that was me?" Zuko asked logically, pulling Katara's lagging form behind him by the wrist before dodging unexpectedly around a root and almost breaking his girlfriend's ankle in the process. "Not only was the scar on the wrong side, but it looked more like some kind of-"

"They were chanting, 'Death to the Fire Nation,' and, may I add, doing so in _iambic pentameter!_"

"…"

"Does being socially retarded," Katara gasped raggedly, "run in your family or something?"

"And insanity," Zuko added sagely, "Mustn't forget the insanity."

"Damn inbreeding!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

…Well, he'd just try to forget the rest of the journey then.

He forced the stray thoughts from his mind and slowly brought a shaking hand up to knock on the door of the small cottage they stood in front of. The cottage that may very well have housed his mother for the last seven years. Once he knocked he let his hand drop limply to his side.

He had been so eager to find her, to see her again, but now that the time was upon him all he could think of was what could go wrong. He was blinded by visions of his beloved mother slamming the door in his face, of turning from him in shame, or, worst of all, of being somewhere else entirely.

But it was already too late for second thoughts. Even as he gathered his quivering legs under him to run, the door swung open. The woman who stood behind the opened door was half a head shorter than him, had a head of lightly graying pitch hair, and a pleasant but altogether unremarkable face.

She was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on.

"Can I help-" Ursa cut off midsentence and stared at her son in disbelief. "Dear Spirits…Zuko?" The woman at the door brought a trembling hand up to cup his cheek and with tear bright eyes exclaimed, "Oh, my dear, darling, baby boy!"

And right then, at that very instant, Zuko knew that no amount of time, or distance, or dishonor could ever change the way his mother felt about him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Zuko and Katara sat across a small, wooden table from Ursa in the foyer of her home. Zuko's hand rested contentedly over his mother's knuckles as they leaned towards each other, recounting shared memories and all that had happened in the time they had been separated.

"-and Mai wouldn't stop following you for a week! She always loved you so. And she was always such a sweet girl…"

Katara smiled at the happy picture the two made but sat quietly in her place, obviously an outsider and a bit perturbed at the sheer number of stories Ursa had told of Zuko's childhood that had included Mai. And not one had been embarrassing enough for her tastes.

She was broken out of her thoughts by a loud growl. Upon glancing up she noticed Zuko sheepishly rubbing a hand over his stomach and realized from whence it came.

Ursa smiled fondly, "Why, Zuko, if you are hungry you should have told me. Go right ahead into the kitchen and get yourself something to eat. You're far too skinny!" At seeing her son move to protest, she made a vague shooing motion. "Go on. It'll give us women folk a chance to talk."

With a small smile and an "Okay" Zuko ducked out of the room.

Katara sat up a little straighter in her chair at finally having the older woman bother to speak with her. "It's go-"

"Who exactly," Zuko's mother cut in quietly, "gave you permission to court my son?"

Katara could only gape speechlessly for several long moments before stuttering out, "W-well, Iroh said-"

"Iroh!" Ursa scoffed, utterly unimpressed, "When Zuko was seven, my _honorable _brother-in-law tried to set him up with a fourteen year-old _boy_ because his mother was famous for her roast duck and herbal infusions." The regal woman leveled a flat stare at the wide-eyed girl before her. "What else have you got?"

"…"

"That's what I thought," the mother stated with just a tad too much satisfaction to be healthy.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: Who else has read one too many stories where Zuko's mother is a little lamb who goes along happily (and thoughtlessly) with whatsoever she is told? This is the woman who _killed her father-in-law_ to protect her son. I'm not saying this would really happen, but personally, _**I**_ wouldn't want to get on Ursa's bad side.


	9. A Blutara Interlude

A/N: Calling all readers! Can you hear me? Is this thing on? CALLING ALL READERS! After this chapter I have officially RUN OUT OF IDEAS for this story. Now, don't panic. I don't plan to end it here, but I NEED SUGGESTIONS. If you have an idea, if you have something you want to see done, PLEASE don't be shy.

Also, some people have mentioned an interest in reading a high school parody. I would love to try this…but I have no idea where to begin. If anyone (anyone at all!) has an idea as to how I should go about this, please—FOR THE LOVE OF AANG—tell me.

…In other news…if you like Bleach, go check out my profile. I have a new mulitchapter fic up. It's no where near as popular as TFA, but it's my baby.

…That is all. So now, please proceed to (finally…--don't hurt me--) enjoy:

Things Fall Apart: Chapter 9: A Blutara Interlude

XXXXXXXXXX

The pregnant moon hung heavy in an indigo sky. A soft breeze sighed into the spring night, sending many colored flower petals spiraling to the ground as it passed by. And in the very center of this beauty stood one extraordinary couple…

"Why aren't you better at this?! You're a prince, aren't you?" Katara demanded angrily as she hobbled around on one foot and clutched at the other. Her poor abused toes. She might never walk without a limp again…

The Blue Spirit looked on the scene with a vacant smile. Meanwhile, Zuko flushed behind his mask and lowered his eyes to the ground.

"I tried my best? I mean, dancing has been outlawed in the Fire Nation for the past seventy two years…" The boy asked, hope in his voice. Katara just hissed at him. Maybe she should take her shoes off and actually attempt a healing?

"Hey!" the outlaw protested, "_I_ said it was a stupid idea! _ You're_ the one who was all, 'It's so pretty! Let's dance under the stars and the trees and the _flowers_-'"

"Shut up! I didn't say it like that! And it's the thing to do in situations like this." She released her foot to plant her hands on her hips. "Don't you know that when the girl falls in love with the mysterious masked stranger they're supposed to do romantic things together?"

"But, Katara… I told you who I was three weeks ago…" the confused prince said, far beyond his depth in trying to contend with a teenaged girl who had spent the last six years of her life waiting to meet a guy—_any_ guy.

Sitting around on a male depleted hunk of ice left a girl with little to do but daydream about her first boyfriend. And that's_ never_ a good thing.

In response to the boy's well-meaning but horribly misguided correction, the Water Tribe girl proceeded to engage in an activity she had perfected at the age of two years and four months: glaring and thereby making men uncomfortable.

In the face of such unmitigated rage, the prince paled beneath his mask and forced himself not to fidget. But those _eyes_. They were staring into his very _soul_. Just looking into those eyes he knew that she knew that he was nervous and sweaty and blushing. Damn mask! He wore it so people wouldn't be able to tell when he made fool of himself. Why did it betray him?! It was just like the helmet that had come before it!

Zuko began to consider the very real possibility that he needed better friends. Maybe he could try for some that weren't inanimate this time?

…Nah. The turtle ducks had betrayed him too. He just hadn't been able to _prove_ it yet.

Katara, unsure if her glaring was reaching its desired level of male-mind-melting (as Sokka had taken to calling it) because of the mask, turned it all the way up from a Level 2 '_You think you're queasy now, just wait until I get through with you_' glare to a Level 7 _'Stand very still and wait right there while I get the rusty spoon—you didn't _really_ want children anyway, did you?_' glare.

Zuko shriveled up and died inside. Just a little.

"And speaking of things you've done wrong-"

"When were we-"

"-where were you that night anyway?" Katara continued as if she'd never been interrupted.

"W-which night do you mean?" Zuko asked, growing more nervous by the second and backing away slowly. He had a feeling he knew _exactly_ which night she meant.

"You know," the girl said, following the taller teen's retreat and stepping up close to him once his back was trapped against a tree. There was no escaping her now…

She trialed a delicate hand down his shoulder, and then back up to gently cup his jaw, "The night that was going to be our second meeting. I had told you to meet me back here at the same time… I waited for you for _hours_."

Her eyes glinted in the moonlight like a large, hungry cat's. "So, where were you?"

The prince swallowed audibly and prayed she'd make it quick. He knew he wasn't lucky enough for her to have forgotten about that.

Worse yet, he was a horrible liar and he severely doubted the truth was the way to go in this instance…

XXXXXXXXXX—four weeks prior—XXXXXXXXXX

"Zuko!" Iroh called, wandering around their current residence in search of the boy. Hmm… Maybe he had already left. His nephew had been acting oddly that morning, and Iroh was convinced it was because Zuko had finally found himself a girl. It was about damn time in any case.

Ah, finally Zuko would-

The old man's shoulders slumped. Well, he had found him.

"Nurg! …No, bad 'Zula… Those're _my_ fire flakes…"

Iroh sighed. Really, in bed an hour past sundown. Which one of them was an old man again?

He turned and made his way from the room. Perhaps it was too much to hope that the boy would find himself a girlfriend. But then, what were charming old uncles for if not to help with the ladies? Why when Iroh had been his nephew's age…

XXXXXXXXXX

"…I was with Uncle. He was…sick."

"Really?" Katara asked, staring at him with just a hint of suspicion.

Zuko, sensing that he was on the verge of catching a break for once, nodded vigorously. "Yeah. That's exactly what happened. I made him tea and soup and…and salad… and stuff."

Katara narrowed her eyes and studied what she could see of his face through the eyeholes of his mask.

Uh-oh, maybe he had taken it too far? Darn it, he could never tell! But who made salad for sick people? He was such an idiot! Idiot! Maybe he could say it was a Fire Nation thing? Yeah. Yeah, and then he'd call her racist. That'd work. Nice deflection.

…Or maybe she'd just kill him.

Her voice snapped him out of his thoughts. 'That's so… _sweet_, Zuko! You're such a loving nephew!" She smiled coyly up at him and pressed herself to his chest, "I like sweet guys."

It actually worked? …Really? Score! That made it Zuko: 2, Universe: 300,000,012. He was catching up!

Doing the Fire Nation equivalent of an internal happy dance (it resembled a particularly violent kata more than anything else) he put one arm around the girl and raised the other to his face to pull back his mask.

He pressed his forehead to hers and smiled. She leaned up to brush her lips against his…

XXXXXXXXXX

Toph snorted into the rock ledge she was using to shield her from view. At her side, Aang watched the scene while humming a happy little tune and chomping away at egg-custard flavored sugar-balls. The kid could really pack those things away…

Oh yeah, and Sokka screamed his outrage into a gag from where he flailed about ineffectually on the ground. After several minutes of rolling, kicking, biting, and… creative use of tongue… Sokka spit the cloth from his mouth.

"Why are you two just sitting there when my sister is being accosted by the enemy!" He yowled.

Toph, worried the big mouth would ruin her entertainment, waved a hand over her shoulder and had a rock flick itself at the boy's forehead. "Shut it, Snoozles. They're gonna hear you."

"I wouldn' worry 'bout it, Toph," Aang said around a particularly sticky bit of his treat, before swallowing loudly. "I don't think they'd notice if the Spirit World mounted an attack to wipe out all of humanity at the moment." The boy tilted his head to the left and studied the scene more closely. "Yep. Definitely nothing to worry about."

"What is wrong with both of you?" The distraught brother wailed, "Katara-"

"You know," the earthbender cut in, "I'd really call this '_cavorting_ with the enemy' more than 'being accosted.' Besides, it's kinda cute."

Sokka's mouth gaped open and Aang nearly choked as they both turned to look at the blind girl.

"What?" Toph demanded, "I'm a girl. I can think things are cute!"

"…So anyway…" Sokka continued, trying to change the subject before Toph killed them all, "Why are _you_ just sitting there, Aang? I thought you had a crush on Katara."

Aang shrugged and turned back to the pair in the clearing. "Well, yeah. But I gotta find _something_ fun to do, and following Katara as she tries to sneak out of camp is about as interesting as it's going to get."

"She really does suck as stealth, doesn't she?" Sokka lamented, finally scooting up next to the others and taking some of Aang's offered sugar-balls.

"That's putting it lightly," Toph laughed, "Can you believe she still thinks we don't know?"

Aang sighed, "I almost feel insulted actually…"

XXXXXXXXXX

I just want everyone to know that all the love in the world should go to Shadowhawke for the existence of this chapter, for inspiring me to actually get off my a$$ and write it. Thank you!


	10. Elemental High

A/N: MoonClaimed peeks out through the bars of the cage she's been stuck in for the last six months. She peers around then calls out, "Is anybody out there? _—out there?—out there?"_

Hmm…judging from the echo…

But seriously, I'm very, very sorry about the huge gap between updates! But to make up for it, here's the "High school fic" chapter I've been promising! I hope you enjoy it!

Chapter 10: Welcome to Elemental High (You may now run screaming)

XXXXXXXXXX

"—and this is where the children in Water House have their dorm rooms. Now, I asked a student in your grade to meet you here and show you around the school." The old man smiled fondly down at Elemental High's newest student, "Don't hesitate to come to me if you have any questions or concerns, and make sure to introduce yourself to everyone so you can make some new friends!"

The young boy bounced on his heels in excitement, "Oh, don't worry about that! I love making friends! Thanks for showing me around, Principal Iroh-"

"Oh, _**I'm**_ not the principal, Aang; I'm the guidance councilor. My younger brother is the Headmaster of this fine hall of learning."

Aang narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to ask a question when the genial old man cut him off, "Ah, there's young Miss Toph now. I'll let her take you to your first class." He pat the boy on the head and marched merrily down the hall.

Aang stared after the departing guidance councilor in mild confusion but was quickly broken out of his reverie by a voice right behind him.

"Thanks for finally showing up, Twinkle Toes, I've been waiting for nearly half an hour."

Aang whipped around and blinked at the petite girl he found there. "But…but you just got here-"

"Did I say you could talk?" The girl demanded, "No? Than keep quiet. They made me memorize a whole long schpiel about how to 'advertise the excellent characteristics of our hallowed hall of blah, blah, blah,' and if you interrupt me I'll lose my train of thought and forget the whole thing so shut up and let me finish already."

Aang blinked at his guide. He had no idea how a girl that tiny could possibly have a lung capacity big enough to say all that in one breath. "…Okay."

"Good," Toph nodded in satisfaction, "Then welcome to…" She trailed off, then started off with new determination, "I meant, this is… "

She groaned audibly then snapped her head up to glare…over his left shoulder. "It's too late. You ruined it." She was quiet for a moment before giving a philosophical shrug, "Ah heck, I'll just wing it." She turned on her heel and trotted off.

Aang stared after her in an awed stupor.

After a few seconds Toph called back, "Are you coming or not? 'Cus I'm not waiting around here all day!"

As he scrambled after her, Aang took a moment to wonder if he had fully considered just what it was he had signed up for when he decided to come to Elemental High Boarding School.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Ow!"

"Ah, sorry." Zuko shifted back off of the girl's foot but couldn't go far in the cramped space. "But, Katara…why are we in the janitor's closet again?"

"Well," Katara huffed, "it seemed like a good idea at the time, alright?"

"…Okay. I can accept that. But that doesn't change the fact that right now a mop is poking me where the sun don't shine!"

"…More information than I needed."

Zuko sighed, "Can we just get out of here?"

The girl crossed her arms and huffed, "Fine."

* * *

Toph, fed up with waiting around for Aang to finish gawking at the 'sights,' was pulling the boy through the halls by the wrist and snarking about everything they passed.

"And _that's_ Katara and Zuko."

Aang blinked in the direction the girl pointed, "Okay. But, um…why are they in the janitor's closet?"

"Oh, they're dating. And trying to be sneaky about it—even though _everyone already knows._" She emphasized loudly.

* * *

Hearing Toph from the hallway, Zuko turned to face his girlfriend. "…I told you so."

"Damn it!"

XXXXXXXXXX

By Tuesday, all the talking Toph had done about the school had started to catch up with her. There were just a few niggling, little details that didn't make sense…

"Does anybody else ever wonder," she asked out of the blue during lunch period, "why kids between the ages of twelve and seventeen all go to the same school and share the same classes?"

The rest of the group conferred briefly. "No," Sokka decided unanimously, "Not really."

"Oh." She shrugged. "Never mind then. You gonna finish that?"

Sokka whipped his meatloaf away from Toph's inquiring fingers and hugged it to his chest protectively.

XXXXXXXXXX

"I've been thinking—" Toph began on Wednesday as she strode up to the lunch table.

"Oh, not again…" Sokka muttered under his breath.

Toph only continued louder, "Does no one else finds this Harry Potter-ish?"

The others blinked at each other in confusion for a minute before Zuko summed up the group's collective feelings.

"Huh?"

"You know," Toph gestured heatedly, "the whole 'boarding school with opposing rival houses out to get each other, with students that are somehow magically sorted to accommodate personality and family tradition' thing?"

The others conferred. Katara decided, "No. Not really."

After another moment, Sokka asked, "…Who's Harry Potter?"

Aang piped up, "Isn't that the short, blond kid in our art class?"

"Him? He owes me twenty bucks!"

Toph's shoulders slumped in defeat. "…Just… just forget it."

XXXXXXXXXX

On Thursday, Toph stopped chewing halfway through her sandwich to ask a serious question.

"Zuko, don't take this the wrong way."

Said boy looked up from his macaroni to swallow inquiringly at the small girl.

"Well, didn't your father come up on child abuse charges when he gave you that big honkin' scar I've heard so much about?"

"Yep." The teen answered easily.

"Well…then how is he allowed within 200 feet of a school, let alone legally recognized as a headmaster?"

She was met with a tableful of blank stares.

Toph groaned into her friends' vapid faces and excused herself, muttering about the supposed 'value' of education.

XXXXXXXXXX

Aang was following Toph on yet another Iroh-mandated tour of the premises, when voices drifted out to them from a supposedly empty classroom.

"Oh, they have _got _to stop doing this!" Toph complained to no one in particular.

"Huh?" Aang asked. "Who has to stop doing what now?"

"They're having another _Romeo and Juliet_ moment! Or…at least Katara is."

Aang scratched his head in confusion, "What do you—?"

Toph waved him off impatiently, "Just listen for a minute."

* * *

"—Your father, the cruel dictator of the school—"

"Hey!"

"—And _my_ father, who—"

"Katara," Zuko cut in, "…Your father's the gym teacher."

"What's your point?" She snapped defensively.

"I…um…" he looked around uncomfortably, before trying, "…You're really pretty?"

Her eyes narrowed, "That's what I thought you said."

* * *

Aang blinked. "And they…do this often?"

Toph groaned and gestured helplessly, "Often? They never _stop_."

XXXXXXXXXX

On Friday Toph marched into the lunchroom, a girl on a mission. She set her feet shoulder width apart and faced her friends with steely determination.

"What is it _now_?" Katara sighed in exasperation.

"Have any of you even _been _to a class this quarter?" Toph demanded, "_Any _class?"

"Of course!" Katara defended, "Why just yesterday—"

"Not including study hall."

"Oh…Well then…" Katara stared at the younger girl in surprise, "…No, I guess not."

"And no one else finds that strange?"

"No." Sokka said, "Not particularly."

"Though," Zuko added thoughtfully, "There _was _that one partner project in Home Economics where me and Katara had to raise a child together." His brow screwed up in confusion, "Which is odd…because I'm not taking Home Economics…"

XXXXXXXXXX

After class, Sokka and Aang sat outside waiting for the others to meet them. The younger boy fidgeted for a moment before turning to his companion and asking a question that had been bothering him all week. "Toph really likes asking weird questions and stuff… Is she on the school newspaper or something?"

Sokka paused in his off-tune humming long enough to let out a simple, "Nope."

"Oh." Aang paused thoughtfully, "Why not?"

Sokka turned around to face the shorter boy. "Probably because she can't read or write."

Aang blinked, "Not…not even brail?"

"Nope."

"Oh." Another pause. "This…isn't a very good school, is it?"

XXXXXXXXXX

A/N: So…what does everyone think of a second, unrelated high school chapter that goes into different scenarios than the ones mentioned here? There are more then enough of them out there after all…


	11. Oma, meet Shu

**A/N:** Hey everyone! Before we start in on this chapter, please take a moment to **Read This**: I've just posted some of my favorite ideas for future projects in my bio. I'd really appreciate it if you would take the time to read them and vote for which ones you'd like to see completed in the poll at the top of the page. Thank you!

And now, at long last, here's:

* * *

Things Fall Apart: _Chapter 11:_ _Oma, meet Shu_

"Wow," Fire Lord Zuko said softly as he looked out over the great city before him, "So this is Omashu." He turned to his host and smiled, "I'd always heard it was beautiful, but it really is a sight to see."

"And you haven't even ridden the mail line yet!" The ancient king crowed into the younger man's face with a deranged grin.

"Um…w-what?" Zuko asked uncertainly over his friends' snickers in the background.

"Ah, it'll be great! Me and Aang used to do it all the time. Right, Aang?"

"Yeah! It's the best—"

Katara cut her boyfriend off, putting a supportive hand on Zuko's shoulder, "I don't think that Zuko's interested, King Bumi."

"Nonsense, we'll go now!" Bumi declared smartly, clapping Zuko on the back so hard he was nearly bowled over.

"Ah…No, that's okay…" the younger monarch hedged, stepping away from his clearly insane counterpart. He cleared his throat and regrouped, "But I still want to talk to you about letting the colonists that have made their homes here stay—"

"Nope. Nope, can't do it," Bumi shook his head regretfully, before grinning widely at the visiting party. "Your little girlfriend's parents made a real mess o' things. Got the populous _all _riled up."

"My name," the aforementioned girlfriend gripped, "is Mai. And I'm standing _right here_."

"Oh, there you are!" Bumi cheered, "What're you doing hiding like that?"

The soon-to-be Fire Lady gripped a knife handle for comfort as her left brow twitched. Zuko, long familiar with the signs of a political incident in-the-making, rushed to her side to sooth ruffled feathers.

"Well, if no one else is coming, I'm going rock-sledding!" The old man announced, before striding out of the room.

XXXXXXXXXX

Zuko groaned, "What am I going to do? I don't want all those people to lose their homes…"

"It'll be okay," Katara consoled, "We'll come up with somethi—"

"I've got an idea," Aang chirped, "Let's summon a spirit to help convince Bumi!"

Mai slanted a look at the boy, "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Oh, come on," Aang cajoled, "I'm the Avatar! I know what I'm doing. Besides, what's the _point_ of being the Avatar if I never _do_ anything?"

"Hmm…" Sokka rubbed his chin, "Good point!"

"I don't like this idea," Zuko said crossly, "Something always goes wrong whe—"

Sokka rolled his eyes and threw an arm over the older boy's shoulder. "Come on, what's the worst that could _possibly _happen?"

XXXXXXXXXX

Zuko regained consciousness slowly, groaning at the throbbing behind his eyes.

"Hey!" he heard Toph call, "Sparky and Sugar Queen are finally coming to!" The Fire Lord rolled over onto his side and, what do you know, there Katara was. He blinked down at her for a second before working to prop himself up on his elbows and stare into the others' half-worried, half-amused faces.

"Ugh," Katara moaned, wiping sleep from her eyes, "What happened?"

"So, uh… The good news is that the colonials get to stay." Suki explained carefully.

"That's wonderful!" Zuko enthused, a grin curving the corner of his lips. Behind him, Sokka clapped a hand to his mouth to stifle a sudden bout of snickering.

"Yeah, it is good," Katara narrowed her eyes, "But why did Bumi reconsider so quickly?"

The other members of the group glanced to each other out of the corners of their eyes before Aang stepped forward reluctantly. "W-well, you see, it's funny…" The Avatar laughed nervously, "I ended up calling back your past lives—" He flinched violently as he was cut off by Sokka's suddenly unrestrained gwaffs. The boy took a moment to glare at the older teen's convulsing form before scratching the back of his head. "It was kinda like…" He trailed off, thinking back on the events of earlier that evening…

**Flashback**

"Hmmm," Bumi mused aloud, "Well… If the Fire Lord is one of the first two Earthbenders and one of the _founders_ of Omashu, I can't go and deny his people citizenship here, can I?" He shook his head vigorously, "Nope. Nope, can't do it."

"That's great!" Aang cheered, "This was a great idea! It solves all our problems!"

Mai pursed her lips tightly and glared at the bald boy.

"So you were the first two Earthbenders?" Toph asked the newly revealed couple, a hint of hero-worship in her voice, "You must be incredible!" She turned to face the now-waterbender, "I gotta know, Oma, where—"

"What did you just call me?" Katara cut in, offended. "I'm not _Oma_!"

Sokka blinked, "But I thought you said you were the first two—"

"I'm Shu!" the young girl grated angrily, voice two full octaves deeper than the last time they had heard it.

A moment of silence. "W-what?"

"_I'm_ Oma!" Zuko huffed, hands on hips, before executing a hair-flip the likes of which Ty Lee could only dream.

"O~kay," Toph said slowly, "I gotta admit, I wasn't expecting this one…"

Throughout this display, Mai's face continued to darken. She clenched her fists in an effort to keep her stockpile of knives out of her grasp. Finally, she turned her face away and snarked, "Well, I'm sure the two of you were simply ecstatic in your little cave together."

Zuko-Oma blinked, "Why yes, we were very happy while it last—"

"Mostly," Katara-Shu cut in flippantly.

Zuko-Oma slowly turned to face the other and narrowed his eyes, "What do you mean _'mostly'_?"

Katara-Shu waved a dismissive hand, "It's nothing, baby."

Zuko-Oma rolled his eyes, "Well, goo—"

"It's just…"

Zuko-Oma whipped around and growled, "What do you mean _just?"_

Katara-Shu shrugged, "You could get a little…abrasive sometimes, is all."

"I was _what!_?" Zuko-Oma exploded.

Katara-Shu narrowed her eyes and hissed, "Let's be serious, it was nag, nag, nag! All the time! When did I ever get a br—"

"When did you get a what?" Zuko-Oma asked sweetly, "Get a _job_? That's what I'd like to know!"

"Oh, come off it!" Katara-Shu cried, waving angrily, "Like you ever did anything productive. I wonder," she rubbed her chin thoughtfully, "Have you ever _tried_ your turtle-mole casserole?"

Zuko-Oma gasped, hand over mouth, before regrouping to demand, "And what exactly is wrong with my cooking?"

"Well maybe if you _tried _a little—"

Zuko-Oma shrieked, "I'm_ sorry _I didn't spend more time in the kitchen. Maybe I could have if I wasn't busy _building a city_!" He took an aggressive step forward and jabbed the other in the chest, "And what did you do? You couldn't even build me a house! It would have taken you all of three seconds, Mr. Swish-and-flick!"

"Hey!" Katara-Shu protested, "That's a perfectly good form, and you know it!"

The scar-bearing spouse continued undeterred, "And then you go off and what? _Die _in a war? How in Koh's Lair did you manage _that one_, ya big lug?" Zuko-Oma narrowed his good eye and pointed an accusing finger, "You were an _Earthbender_. The _only_ Earthbender _in_ the damn war! If you bent a _pebble _at someone they would have run screaming, yelling about angry spirits! So how did you manage—"

"I did it to get away from you!" Katara-Shu roared, "Dear Spirits, I thought you'd never shut up! 'Fix the cave-in, Shu. Don't wear your shoes in the tunnel, Shu. Get me a Spirits-blessed_ panda-lily_, Shu!'" She parroted in a sickly falsetto. She turned a nasty glare on the other, ignoring his sudden pallor, "I finally figured, 'Hey there's no way she can nag ya when you're dead, right?' So when I saw my chance, I went for it!" She crowed, "So how do you like tha—Om-Oma? Honey—"

But it was too late; Zuko-Oma had started to cry in earnest. "H-how…How ca-can you even say th-tha~at?" He wailed.

"I-I," Katara-Shu stuttered, caught speechless, "I-I'm sorry!" She rushed to the other's side, fluttering uselessly and making vaguely comforting gestures to empty air, "I didn't mean that, baby! You know I didn't mean it!"

Toph twitched. Aang choked. Mai grinned.

"…What," Sokka asked slowly, "Just happened?"

Suki blinked dumbly before muttering, "I think…Katara just made Zuko cry…"

"…Oh."

After several moments of uncomfortable silence among the Gaang, Toph swallowed and spoke over the legendary couple's mewlings and the remnants of Zuko's sniffles, "For whatever remains of Earthbending pride, can…can we never mention that _these two_ were Oma and Shu ever again?" She turned to the others and begged, "Please?"

**End Flashback**

"…So?" Zuko finally asked after the long, uncomfortable silence, "What happened?"

Mai shifted slowly to mutter to Aang out of the corner of her mouth, "Don't. Say. Anything."

Aang nodded imperceptibly before pasting on a shit-eating grin and laughing, "You know what? I forget."


	12. Zuko's Emo Corner

**A/N: **I want to start off by saying I am incredibly sorry for the extreme wait between updates. What's really sad is that this chapter has been mostly finished for…a while. I just couldn't get the last couple of kinks worked out. And, to be fair to me (because I _am_ the one talking), the last year I have been completely focused on working on a senior thesis/novel and only wrote fanfics when they occurred to me out of the blue and refused to leave me alone.

**AND** I owe someone a story for being my 200th reviewer! And I promised I'd get that out MONTHS ago. I am very, very sorry, and I'm working on that now.

But here the next chapter is, and I hope you all enjoy it.

**Warnings:** Well, I can't tell you or it would give it away, but…know that this is all in good fun and that's the only way I meant it. :P

* * *

**Things Fall Apart: Chapter 12: Zuko's Emo Corner**

Zuko was curled up in the corner of his study, and had been for several hours. He stared out the window over the grounds of the Fire Palace, admiring the play of light over the delicately manicured lawns and flower beds.

He sighed.

"Hey there, buddy," Sokka said, punching Zuko lightly in the arm. Zuko blinked and turned to face the other teen, noticing that the Water Tribe siblings had come in sometime while he hadn't been paying attention. Sokka was leaning over him and apparently had been for some time, while Katara was distractedly shifting through a few documents at the room's prominent desk.

He hadn't even heard them come in.

Sokka shifted uncomfortably for a moment, before taking a deep breath and beginning on what was obviously a rehearsed speech. "Zuko, pal, I know you're heart broken—"

Ah. He was taking about Zuko's recent break up with Mai. But Sokka didn't exactly have all the details, so whatever he said was pointless anyway. "No, I'm fine." The Firelord cut in, trying to stop the Water Tribe boy before he made a fool of himself, "I mean, I'm a little sad, but it was really a mutual thing—"

"Ah, that's what they all say at first." Sokka shook his head sadly. "Before the denial phase ends and the heartbreak _really_ sets in."

"Sokka," He said sternly, "I mean it. I'm fine." Zuko licked his lips nervously, "Actually, I've been wanting to tell you some—"

"It's like a black cloud hovering in your heart," Sokka blithely cut in with a dramatic flare. "And that's when you realize that you're a horrible, disgusting little person that no one with a shred of self-respect could ever love!" He seemed delighted by the whole concept.

Zuko's eyebrow twitched. "Actually, no. I'm good."

"But don't worry!" The tan boy chirped, "Don't think about how the love of your life just dropped you like a sack of dead puppies—"

"What? Sokka, I said it was mutual—"

"Don't you see? It's all okay! Because now you're free to date Katara!" He crowed, gesturing broadly at his sister as if presenting a Brand New Ostrich-Horse.

Katara looked up from her work and blinked at them. She had an ink stain on her forehead.

"Um…"

"It's perfect!" he chirped. "You just broke up with Mai, Katara and Aang are over—"

"Sokka," Katara grossed tiredly.

Undeterred, the enthusiastic boy continued, "And if you two get married, we'll be _brothers_!"

"Sokka!" Katara protested, to little effect.

Stars in his eyes, Sokka nearly swooned, "It's like it's _fate_ or something."

"SOKKA!"

He turned to smile sweetly over his shoulder at his sister. "Yes?"

"I'm still dating Aang!"

Sokka, smile still glued on his face, hissed, "Stop ruining this for me!"

Fed up, Zuko stood from his seat and yelled, "Sokka!"

"What?"

"I'm gay!"

Sokka blinked once. Slowly. Then again. "Like… happy, or…"

Katara slapped a hand to her forehead.

"No!" Zuko gnashed his teeth. "Gay! That's why we broke up! I like men! Women sicken me!—no offense Katara—"

She waved it off good naturedly.

When Sokka's uncomprehending look continued unabated, he scrounged for a better explanation, "Gay like—

"Gay like Sokka's belt and matching handbag!" Toph volunteered, who had until this point been hiding inconspicuously in the corner.

Zuko scowled indignantly, "I'm not _that_ gay."

Sokka stared blankly at the Fire Lord for several long seconds before slowly looking up to stare at the sky. He stayed still for a long moment before whooping, "Thank you!" at whatever deity might have been lingering overhead.

"Wha—"

And then Sokka tackled him.

XXXX

"Umm…" Katara shifted uncomfortably, "I think we should leave…"

"Why?" Toph demanded with a grin, "This is hot."

Katara froze as the enormity of what the younger girl had just said became clear. The two boys were on the floor… doing things to each other. On the_ floor_. With_ Toph_ in the room. With a shriek of, "We're leaving!" Katara dragged the protesting young girl out the door.


End file.
